Scary Thoughts

Now I don't often get very serious here in my blog.  I figure this is a place to come and tell everyone about my successes and sometimes my failures.  I like writing about things I like or that make me happy.  But I've had some rather disturbing, okay to me it's downright scary, news.  I've been being treated for glaucoma for about 10 years now.  My pressure has always been somewhat higher than it should be but it's been manageable.  But for the last couple of years, no matter what drops I've used, the pressure has been much higher than usual.  So it was recommended that I see a specialist in glaucoma and begin treatment with her.  Well, apparently the vision in my left eye has deteriorated more rapidly that we anticipated and the "easy" laser surgery is no longer an option.  Now I'm looking at a canaloplasty  which isn't quite as hard as the remaining surgery but certainly not as easy as simply cutting a few holes in the back of my eyeball with a laser.  Now we're not just looking at controlling the glaucoma, we're looking at preserving what's left of my vision in that eye.  I've always had bad eyesight so I've never taken my sight for granted but the idea of losing my sight even partially scares me.  Now I can still do everything that I could before I got this news.  I'm not restricted at all although sometimes I do have a blurry area that I have to contend with.  But the idea that there may come a time when I can't drive or read or knit or stitch bothers me.  So I know God has everything in control and I'm sure there's something He wants me to learn from this but it's still very scary to me.